• Home
  • About
  • Blog
  • The Ship
  • Press & Reviews
  • Events
  • Contact

Antonia Honeywell

Writer

  • Blog
  • Publication & Beyond
    • Countdown To Publication
  • My Reading & Reviews
    • Baileys Prize 2015
    • Bailey’s Prize 2014
    • Man Booker Prize 2014
    • Man Booker Prize 2013
    • Other Reading
  • Any Other Business
    • Advent 2018
    • Advent 2016
You are here: Home / Blog / Any Other Business / Advent 2016 / Advent Day 2

Advent Day 2

3rd December 2016 By Antonia Honeywell Leave a Comment

I had one aim for my cloud excursion today. I wanted to see God’s red telephone. The one he uses to talk to Theresa May. It’s reassuring to hear that he’s guiding her through Brexit, but I wanted to see for myself. I also thought maybe I could pick up the receiver, put on a deep voice and say, ‘It’s really arrogant to expect Angela Merkel to go first when you started it.’ But this is God we’re talking about – the Supreme Being who a) felt he needed David Bowie more than we do and b) did something about it. He’d hardly be accusing someone else of arrogance.

I got sidetracked by Alan Rickman, who was wearing a frock coat and saying, ‘Give me some employment, Miss Dashwood, or I shall run mad,’ while a small woman in a bonnet and an Empire line dress jumped up and down excitedly, waving a notebook and saying, ‘That’s it, that’s it, that’s exactly how I imagined him.’ But back on Earth, our boiler’s been condemned and I’m working flat out to keep the children warm. I couldn’t hang about.

I stopped a passing angel, intending to ask for directions, but the angel’s wings drove the words out of my head. They were purple. Strong, sweeping, gloriously spread – and purple. ‘Have your wings always been that colour?’ I asked, but before the angel could reply I knew the answer. I could hear the opening bars of When Doves Cry in the distance. ‘Only since April,’ the angel said. Of course. 2016. Any moment now, I’d see Paul Daniels asking Fidel Castro to pick a card.

But I couldn’t see God. Or a red telephone.

‘Why has 2016 been so rubbish?’ I asked the angel with the purple wings.

‘Rubbish?’ the angel said. ‘It’s been great. The music up here’s had a real burst of energy. And yesterday this chap turned up saying he comes from Barcelona. I haven’t laughed so much since the short man with glasses came and started talking about fork handles with his tall friend.’

‘I’ve come to see God.’

‘Oh, he’s not here.’

I got angry then. ‘Where is he?’ I demanded. ‘At a Leonard Cohen concert? Watching Eurovision? I need to see him.’

‘I can take you to him,’ the angel said. ‘But it’s up to you whether you see him or not.’

And that’s how I ended up being dragged past Gene Wilder and Terry Wogan spinning round like records to Pete Burns, back here, in a house that’s freezing cold, where I forgot to take the shepherd’s pie out of the freezer before I left (not that it would have made much difference if I had) and no one’s done their music practice.

‘You can’t get away with this,’ I shouted at the stars. ‘Forget your Advent. You don’t get to shove all this back on me.’

I went to boil the water for some pasta. And then I got a text. Just a short one. From a friend. A friend I’ve loved for longer than I’ve loved my husband. And it was this.

image1

 

 

 

 

 

This isn’t the place to explain why it made me cry; it’s not my story to tell. But it means I’m not quite done. It means I’ll go back tomorrow.

Filed Under: Advent 2016, Any Other Business, Blog

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Follow Antonia

  • Facebook
  • Twitter

Latest Tweets

  • Not only is Vanessa @LondonDreamtime an incredible storyteller, she has wonderful visions about creating spaces and… https://t.co/EVxihvp55A 11th April 2023 11:02 am
  • It’s a really tired puppy🤷‍♀️ https://t.co/VaqLuJ3prI 6th April 2023 5:55 pm
  • Some intriguing evening… insightful, moving and and just so much fun. Thank you @SarahTheDuchess @MillsandBoon… https://t.co/OCa0QANEk7 6th April 2023 9:12 am

Most Recent Posts

  • An invitation to my birthday 2nd May 2021
  • An alternative vigil for Sarah Everard 17th March 2021
  • Decompression Day 19th June 2019
  • Arriving in Entebbe 5th June 2019
  • Out of Office – Uganda 4th June 2019
  • Writing and failure 9th April 2019
  • Andy Murray Is Not Dead 11th January 2019
  • Day 24 24th December 2018
  • Day 23 23rd December 2018
  • Day 22 22nd December 2018

Categories

  • Blog
  • Publication & Beyond
    • Countdown To Publication
  • My Reading & Reviews
    • Baileys Prize 2015
    • Bailey’s Prize 2014
    • Man Booker Prize 2014
    • Man Booker Prize 2013
    • Other Reading
  • Any Other Business
    • Advent 2018
    • Advent 2016

Copyright © 2023 · Antonia Honeywell
Joanna Craig Website Design